Gatsby!

So, after two weeks of waiting after the release I finally saw The Great Gatsby, and I feel the reviews it's getting do not justify the movie. Most reviews are actually pretty negative, but there is so much to appreciate from this particular interpretation of the movie. Side note: I am in love with this book.

First, the soundtrack. Many people were not happy with it. I was definitely one of those that was not happy with it. I mean The Great Gatsby is set in the roaring 20's, so when you see that the soundtrack is filled with rap and hip-hop instead of jazz you kind of do a double take and start thinking poorly of the movie before even seeing it. This music, though totally unexpected, fit the movie quite well. First off, it was not overdone. I thought it would be like Jay-Z bumping in the speakers all the time and me asking where in the world this came from since Jay-Z wasn't even alive then. Instead they used it to explain parts of the plot to the audience. This is my second point, it is used to really show us just how hard they partied in the 20's. I think if they would have played jazz music for all these intense parties the audience would not have completely understood. But since they accompanied the party scenes with rap and hip-hop the audience was able to understand that they party just as hard as many people party today. I think the only way our generation can understand that is through the use of rap music. 

Second, Leonardo DiCaprio is the best Jay Gatsby in the world. Seriously, he was amazing. He deserves so much recognition for this role. He tapped into it so well. I need to stop going on and on about it, and you need to go see the movie to understand. I really feel like I missed out on drooling over Leo back in the day, mostly because of my hate for Titanic. He is wonderful in all his movies, and I think this is one of his best performances.

Third, the characters became so much more real and so much more understandable to the audience. I think that since there is that time gap we don't always understand what Fitzgerald is saying in the book, but it translated so well to film. I think that this finally made me see Gatsby as human and not just this high and mighty man that got whatever he wanted. In this film you see that, but you also see how unhappy it all makes him. And how once he has Daisy he is happy, but there is still something missing (seriously, they worked with that green light so much better than the old version of the movie). You see how much things bother and tear him apart when it doesn't go his way, and you are much more drawn to him. I typically don't have a favorite character in this story, but after this movie I was really drawn to Gatsby and wanted him to find his happiness  That didn't really happen in the book for me. I feel like for the book I wanted him to get what was coming to him. Then there's Daisy. I think Daisy is a hard character for anyone to portray because she is so much. She is an air head in my eyes, but yet completely aware of it. She is full of herself, selfish, and a bit manipulative. She is also unhappy. I think that it wasn't portrayed poorly in the movie. I mean I still ended up hating her at the end, but I didn't have the complete rage that I had with her at the end of the book. When I finished the book I had wished bad things on her because she was just a terrible person and toyed with everyone around her. Didn't quite get that from the movie.

AMAZING COSTUMES! Seriously, I loved them so much. That's pretty much all I have to say on that one.

I'm sure I could find more to say about the movie, but that is pretty much my main reactions after seeing it. I really did like it, but I am glad that I went into it with low expectations. I think that liking the book as much as I do I would have hated the movie if I had come into it with really high expectations. It is entertaining, a bit funny, and sad. Definitely worth seeing. So much of it was taken word for word from the book (I LOVED how they had the quote from the end of the book in the movie. It ends it so well) and I think they did a really good job putting it together. I'm sorry for hating on you Baz Lurhmann.

One negative comment....are you serious...Tobey Macguire? You couldn't have gotten anyone else to play the role of Nick Carraway. I cannot stand Toby Macguire. Terrible actor. I mean, have you SEEN SPIDERMAN??? ALL THREE OF THEM? Terrible.

ugh, just look at him. No good as Nick Carraway, or in any movie at that.

Now to end with my favorite song from the movie at this moment. Hope more people go to see it. Worth the time.

The Things I Sometimes Ponder.

I realize that there are probably a million important things to ponder and think about, but in order to distract myself from real life issues I think about things that don't even matter and seriously debate them. This week it's been a bit of everything.

Why can't they just install a dishwasher in every rental property? I have done dishes way too many times today and I am getting so tired of it. First off, you have to use hot/warm water. Uh, I don't have AC so as I'm doing dishes I'm also sweating. I don't think that should happen. Then there's those food chunks that float around and randomly float to your hands. Am I the only one that is grossed out by this? Like I can't get everything scraped out and then there's just some ground beef floating around. It's feels like some sort of critter just swimming around in there. I seriously would pay a little bit extra for a dishwasher. Done.

This is more of a statement than a question, but I love Liz Lemon. Seriously, one of my favorite TV characters. I am finally watching the last season of 30 Rock and I just love her. She eats whatever she wants and her little catch phrases are awesome. Don't be surprised if I start yelling "blerg" or when I get mad I scream "nerd rage." Just go with it. Liz Lemon, though not my favorite character due to her political beliefs (thanks Jake, that now factors into things), is someone I would love to be. Well, in a way I would love to be her. So instead I will always make sure to follow her advice and always puts chips on my sandwich.

Mariah Carey, why does your song title have a hashtag in it? #Beautiful makes it look like it was solely meant for twitter. Yes, I have a twitter account, but I hate when Twitter mannerisms make it away from Twitter and into my every day life. Not that Mariah Carey is in my every day life, but I see the song title on Spotify (thanks guys in my area for listening to it, it's now recommended for me or something like that) all the time. And it bothers me. Hashtags don't belong anywhere but Twitter. and Instagram I guess. Well, tumblr too...but that's it. 

I don't get the appeal of Macklemore. I think that's how you spell it. I seem to never remember which order the "l" and "e" go. Anyway, he's not original.Yea, I know no one is original these days. But I feel like he has that as one of his claims to fame and I just don't see it. It's cool that he did all this work on his own and yadda yadda. His songs are too catchy (well, most of them. I tend to only listen to three. And they are pretty much the ones about nothing in particular). I guess people think he's accepting of everyone and all that, but I really don't think he is. Yes he's accepting of different races and lifestyle choices but he seems really unaccepting of Christians. You honestly can't call yourself an accepting person unless you accept everyone for who they are even though they may not think the same as you. That's how I define an accepting and generally caring person. They may think differently than their neighbors, but that doesn't mean that they are. Maybe he's mostly accepting, but not completely. I guess I just don't like when people preach it and then don't follow through. I dunno, am I missing something so awesome about him completely? And don't just saying "he's so good" because that's not a legitimate reason. Props to him for being sober though, but it's unfortunate that the reason he is sober is because he was that addicted. That being said, why are you making party songs? These are the songs that get listened to at bars as people that are anywhere from starting their first drink to trashed are singing. Why is he good? I just don't get him. That being said, I only listen to three of his songs: And We Danced, Thrift Shop, and Can't Hold Us Down (that one just has a cool beat in the background and I think I almost like that more than the song). And if you don't know And We Danced then I feel like you need to catch up on a lot of things. Seriously, that song is very entertaining. End rant (with a song of course...).

Next, why in the world did they decide to have Jay-Z do the soundtrack for The Great Gatsby? Before I start I want to say it's an excellent sound track, just not for that particular movie. Also, I have not seen the movie, but based off of the reviews that I have read I can only assume that the soundtrack is not helping that movie sell as much as the director had hoped. OK...the Great Gatsby...1920's...rap music. Seriously? Whenever I think of this book I think of Jazz music. I think of the Charleston and the brass section and all of this fabulousness, and yet this movie is apparently giving me rap and r&b? Seriously. I would take this soundtrack as an album that is not in anyway connected to Gatsby. I am so nervous to see this movie. I adore the book, and I just have this gut feeling that I will have massive nerdrage at the end of it because Baz Luhrmann is a bit of an idiot. Ok, there is some Jazz elements in the music, but not enough. Serious nerd rage here. 

Side note, does anyone want to go see Gatsby with me? I still need to see it. 

 As it turns out, these are the biggest things that have distracted me from reality lately. Take it as it is. And we will end with something awesome...

So far...

This is something I just really feel needs to be said. I need to kind of get it out of my system, so that's your warning.

I seem to have a love/hate relationship with those people that tell you that you are capable of anything and can do exactly what you want in life. Doesn't always happen, and those few success stories come from more hard work than I could ever imagine. I like the idea of thinking that I can put my mind towards something and successfully complete it, but sometimes setting your mind to it is difficult. And sometimes you realize your heart isn't in it. That's kind of where I'm at right now. My heart is fully in it. 

In what, you may ask. Well in the whole pursuing a career in teaching thing. Yes, I know. That's what my major was. That's what I went to school for. That's what I should be doing and what I had talked about doing for so long. Now before I get into it I just thought I should throw this out there: I am not saying that I never want to teach. I don't want people to think that I thought it was too hard and just gave up (it is tough, but if my heart was really in it I think all that hard work would be worth it right?). I did struggle with my student teaching, but I think that's where I started to fully grasp a few things that my field experiences weren't teaching me. First off, I was not getting the evaluations I deserved. I really think that my professor that was evaluating me was lazy and just wanted us all to give him a good review, therefore giving me an A and a review showing good things. Plus, field experience is still a lot of work with the teacher and with a lot of support. Student teaching is where it kind of slid and I was very on my own. And on my own is not good with a fairly large group of children. I couldn't do a lot of things that I should have been able to do after all my experiences and schooling. Secondly, I want to be able to help students grow. I'm not saying that teachers don't do that. I know so many teachers that are wonderful and all, but I feel like in a large group like that I struggled to help the students. I felt like I really struggled and reaching all these students, and I so wanted to and it killed me. In small groups I found that to be the opposite. Put me in a group of 5-10 students and I can really work with them and help them. I saw so much improvement when I worked with them and felt so much more of a connection with them. But when I was with a large group I struggled, and I fear that a lot of them did too. Third, I seem to have formed quite the opinion of the public school systems and what they are doing for the students. I don't really want to go into it but if you wanna chat sometime over coffee or something we sure can. If I had to summarize though I feel like it's not really looking out for the students and not helping them all like it claims to be. I don't want to be a part of that. I want to be helpful. I want to help children grow both academically and personally.

I remember my logic when I decided to go into education. And believe me, it was not to help the students academically. My main reason upon choosing that major was so that I could be there for a student if they were ever in a situation like I was when I was 13, or that my brother was when he was younger or my sister. When we lost our dad to cancer it was definitely hard for me to concentrate on school, and many of my teachers were so helpful and so caring. I want to be that for a student. When they go through  a personal crisis I would love to be the person that they look to for support. That was my one and only reason. Now I also want to work with kids on reading. It really bothers me on how little kids these days read and how terrible they are about making inferences, because they do it all the time. It's definitely something that helps you improve yourself in many ways. Though I have those reasons, I still don't see the classroom teacher in me.

I love where I am right now, and plan to try to stick it out for awhile longer. I love helping people. I feel really useful at the library and when I'm working in the high school. I feel like I am accomplishing something, even though people seem to think that I'm stuck. I'm helping people find things that they need or want. I'm helping those above me, like my boss or those that I'm assisting, to finish a big project or to get some program started. I'm working with story time and really loving the things that are happening there. The kids get so involved in the story and pick things up that I forget. I really try to get them to relate to the story and to keep them active and engaged throughout the short time they're with me. I love it. I think at this point in my life this is where I belong. I'm not saying I'll be here forever. I'm also not saying that I have completely stopped looking for a job, because I feel like if you completely stop looking then you get behind and don't know what's out there. Who knows, maybe I'll look and find the job that I just know I need to apply for. But at this point in my life I'm happy. It doesn't mean that money isn't tight. I think money is tight for everyone. But I am working hard and happy with what I do.

I am thankful to those that have told me about job openings. I have looked into a lot of those, and there were some that were kind of far away from here (that would have involved moving) that I have come very close to applying to. I appreciate that you are thinking of me. I just really want people to stop looking down on me when I tell them what I'm doing right now. Things could be a lot worse for me, and I'm happy. 

I do pray about this stuff all the time, so please don't think I'm just scared and staying where I feel safe. I am learning a lot. I am really working on coming out of my shell in certain areas of my life. I am doing what I feel I am being told to do. God has definitely taken care of me up to this point in my life, and I really doubt that He has just decided to ignore me for awhile and check back later to see what I'm up to.