Before I start, this is just something that is on my mind that I need to share. So even though that's the main point of it all I also am attempting to try to blog again...at least a little more than I do now? So, slightly personal but also an attempt to get myself back into writing attempts...Just want it to be completely and totally clear before I dive right in with everything. Because this has been on my mind lately, and I feel like I need to clear the air a bit in a way and to share this as well. I think it's something worth sharing.
I just spent the last couple of days with my husband. He had a long weekend down at BOLC so we made the plans for me to take today off and to spend Friday-Monday down there. Lots of driving on Friday and Monday, but all worth it. It was a really great weekend. Seriously. I haven't actually spent time with him since Labor Day weekend, and that weekend was not just me and him that often. It was shared with a lot of family members, which I am totally ok with because I know he wanted to see them all too. But this past weekend was mostly just us, with the occasional hanging out with some buddies of his which is cool. Great weekend. Definitely the pick-me-up that I needed to get me through the home stretch (WE'RE ON THE HOME STRETCH GUYS!!!!!!! In 25 days we'll be done with the two states for long periods of time thing...I hope. But who's counting?). But, of course, I got pretty weepy towards the end because I honestly didn't want to leave. It's one of those crazy moments where you've been apart from someone you are so close to for a while that you kind of easily get back into the way things were. Like we can keep joking all we want about not being used to having the other one around, but I know that I at least got used to it fast and got pretty upset when it had to end. And I tend to get upset a lot when it has to end. Over the past 5ish months I have seen him 3 times. It's hard. But, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about how I approach this situation and what I've been taking out of it.
I know there are people dealing with situations much harder than this. I mean, we've been just tackling 5 months where we are able to talk fairly regularly and we have been able to see each other a couple of times. I know that as far as situations with military families go, this is one of the more ideal ones. I totally get that. And I am amazed at the strength of those that have to deal with longer separations with little to no communications. Seriously, you all are amazing. So strong. I can't even imagine. I admire that strength. But, that doesn't mean that this situation isn't hard on a person either. Just in a different way. And it is something I would be dealing with in a complete and total different way if the communication were less or the time apart was longer. You go about all of these situations differently I think, and in all honesty I think I've been doing pretty well on this one. Could I have done better, yes. But I could have also done worse.
I am just amazed at everything that has happened over the past few months. At least for me personally, because I can't completely speak for him. These past few months have been so much proof of how God uses situations like this to work on something in us that we didn't really think was an issue. I don't really want to go into detail because the issues I've been working on are more personal to me, but I have seen such an improvement just in the quality of days that I have been having and the amount of stress that I have been experiencing as well. If you know me well enough, you know that I stress. A lot. I've gotten so stressed about things that my hair literally starts to fall out. It's ridiculous. But over the past year even I have seen proof of God providing for us in our lives, especially if I just throw all those worries and cares and stresses over to Him. I mean we have a great deal on a HOUSE to rent (we are actually paying just slightly more than we did for a teeny, tiny one bedroom apartment during school. It's awesome). He provided me with a job opportunity when I was feeling a bit desperate. And it was a job opportunity out of the blue that I did not expect, and I absolutely love it. He has provided us with funds and we have never fully gone without. It's amazing what faith in Him can do, and these few months I feel mine getting stronger and stronger, and I think that this situation is a huge part of it. I think that by putting Jake and I in different states for a few months I found that I needed to really have faith that it'll all work out, and so far it has. I dunno, I just feel like after this weekend I have seen some really cool things in our lives that probably only could have really worked if we were apart. It kind of is weird to think about, but it's also really reassuring that God had this in mind the whole time.
Of course, I still have some time left of being apart. But I am so interested to see just what will happen with me personally in that time. I'm interested to see just where God takes us from here. And I can't wait to be done with the separation stuff. Because honestly, it's been so long since we have been in the same state for a month straight.
So basically, I just felt that this was really worth sharing. I know I complain about being alone. I get lonely, it happens. I still don't 100% like this situation at all. It's not in my top 10 most awesome moments of my life. Not even close, but there's always something to learn from each and every situation. There's always something that God has in mind for you during the good and the bad. And I don't mean to throw my opinions and beliefs in your face in any way. I can't stand when people do that, because doing that will not convince any one to more to your side. I am just stating facts. Vague facts about what has been going on in my life during something that has not been easy on me at all. I would love to talk about it more, so feel free to ask or something like that. If you think it's a bunch of bologna, then I'm sorry. I just really wanted to share. I am just amazed and what God can do for me, even through all my tears.