Saturday, December 1, 2012

My Fear of Mice is Not Irrational

Yes, I have made the recent discovery of mice in my house. Ok, I think they are in my house. There was the sound of scampering above my head as I was in my living room watching netflix. I am almost hoping it's mice, but it sounded kinda big so I have no clue if it really is. As I am listening to the feet run around above my head all I am thinking about is how terrified of mice I am. Yes, I know. It's a pretty stereotypical fear for a girl. But in all honesty, my expectations of mice were pretty much crushed as a young child. I was expecting sweet and innocent mice, like in Cinderella. Instead, they are creepy and gross. And super sneaky.
I mean come on. How can you not love these guys?? Here's how I know that the mice in this house (and pretty much all other houses) are evil:

1) Where's my fancy dress? Cinderella's mice cared deeply for her and when they discovered that she would not be getting her wish of going to the ball (thanks a lot evil Stepmother and Stepsisters. Way to assign more chores) they worked on the dress for her and finished it. And she loved it. Then her step family ruined it but that is besides the point. The mice showed such a kind gesture for Cinderella, and the mice here are not doing that for me. In fact, no mouse ever has showed me a kind gesture. The kindest gesture they've shown me is by being dead by the time I see them, and that's only kind because the I know they are no longer running around.
Look at those kind, thoughtful mice. They work so hard.

2) I am pretty sure the mice were kind enough to clean up their own mess. You never saw poop anywhere, and after the whole making of the dress there is not a bit of a mess left for Cinderella to clean. I am pretty sure that they helped her out quite often because they felt she was overworked. What mouse has ever helped you clean up? Yeah, I can't think of a single one either.

3) The mice in Cinderella sang quite often, especially while they worked. And they were pro-Cinderella songs. They were songs about how to help Cinderella. Pretty sure the mice here aren't singing, and if they are then they aren't nice songs.

Can I have these mice please?

4) Obviously, these mice in Cinderella are the nicest mice ever. Pretty sure they put their lives into their own hands to get some of that trimming (darn that cat) and they would do anything for Cinderella. They were probably quiet at night, and they were friendly when they saw Cinderella. Now I haven't seen these supposed mice yet, but I am pretty sure they won't be nice to me if I see them. 

5) Gus. You honestly can't have a better mouse than Gus. He's just awesome. If one of these mice that I think are living in my house is like Gus then I'll be a little nicer to them and will think twice before setting traps out for them.
He's just too much. I love him.

Instead of these fabulous mice that Cinderella had, I am pretty sure I am dealing with super evil mice that want to take over the world or something. 

Heck, I'd even take Fievel

Or...Stuart Little

But alas, my mice are definitely not like them. Thank you media, you have given us such wonderful mice to dream of having in our house, but the real mice are just awful.

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