It's Throwback Thursday!

And even though I should be getting ready to head out and run errands and then come back for an afternoon of baking and figuring out my life (yes, your typical Thursday right?) I decided that this would be much more fun to do at this moment. I have all day to get the other stuff done and then to dive into a library book. I'm good (and no, I have not found a job yet...but I'm looking. You can only look at jobs and apply for so many in one day before your brain explodes.) right?

So I'm a sucker for Throwback Thursday. All those other things for the other days of the week that they tried to get to catch on...well they suck. My Man Crush Monday is never going to change, so why should I even talk about it. Woman Crush Wednesday? Seriously...I hate the term "Woman Crush."  Stop it ladies, just stop it. I honestly don't know what Tuesday is, but Friday ends up being like flashback which is the same as Thursday so who really cares. I also LOVE looking at old pictures and getting all nostalgic. Maybe its because I live far away from my hometown? Maybe it's because it's really funny to look back and see that as much as I made fun of my dad's mullet I too had a mullet and only hope he has heard my many apologies. I really am sorry dad. But lets be honest, a two year old girl with a slight mullet in the 90's was WAY cuter than a grown man with a mullet. Well...today I really do have a lot of things to accomplish for once, and I thought it would be much more fun to think of some of my past musical obsessions. I only say obsessions because this was an obsession, and I'm still slightly in love with them even though they are no longer a group. I secretly hope for a reunion. The reunion they had at the MTV video awards in 2013...well lets say I was pumped even if it was short lived (SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, get over that already. They were there to support the guy getting the reward, not to try to make it all happen again. It was in support of him. They'll never do a reunion tour or make music again...we have to move on).

Yes...I'm talking NSYNC. The ultimate group to throw back to on this Thursday.

We start in 1998 with this lovely video. It's so 90's, and I still love it. Those outfits, well they are just fabulous. Who doesn't love the tight shirt and baggy pants combo? And Justin's blue shirt...a zip-up turtleneck...how can you not want to wear that yourself? And the dancing...the dancing is superb. Take note boy bands of 2014...learn to dance like this. And learn to harmonize (yes...I'm talking to you One Direction...you suck). The hip shaking, shoulder shaking, jumping around like idiots...its what I miss a lot. Dear NSYNC, I want you back! Side note...nice face at around 3:07 Justin!

Let's just have a quick word about this one. Justin...the ramen noodle hair. As in love with you as I was...I always hoped you would ditch the ramen look (and I am so glad you did). This showed off the talents of more than just Justin and JC. And showed us all that if you wear silk PJS in a padded room there WILL be some sort of breeze blowing through. You also think that if you were to ever get locked up, you would hope it would be with them because they kind of made it entertaining. This is a typically overlooked single, but I just wanted to say that I do love it, and support it, and thought it should definitely go here. Also, I really wanted to find Tearin' Up My Heart...but youtube said it's not available in my country. Because that is the ultimate example of wind blowing 90's fashion. But it's cool guys...I found it on vimeo...Check out this 90's awesomeness.

Ahhh...those overalls. SO glamorous.

We move on. Now I know that everyone is shocked that I picked this one over Bye Bye Bye. I love Bye Bye Bye. But I decided due to its popularity I could pass over it for this awesome video. Should we talk about how much I wanted one of those dolls? I saw one at a thrift shop once, but was sadly broke and could not afford it. And my mom did not looked amused enough to buy it for me. She would have changed my life, but noooooo. Moving on. We obviously have the awesome dancing and the fabulous fashion of the early 2000's. I always wondered how anyone passed up on these dolls for the other ones. I mean its good the dancing won the girl over, but still. I just can't get over the shiny pants, or the super red hair, or that super bleached jacket and pants combo. Who picked their clothes? I want to know. I want reasons for these particular fashions.

Such red hair, such dark clothes. Why the random jean jacket?

Ahhhh yes, more awesome early 2000's fashion. This time...turtlenecks. I have one question...how in the world did Joey Fatone NOT get the turtleneck memo? How on earth is he the only one exposing his neck? Does his beard make him warmer and not need it? Does he have an irrational fear of turtlenecks? Also, and like the 1:25 mark...are he and Lance just having a causal convo while the other three are seriously making a music video? Sorry...random observations. And OMG JC's pants....what are they? Also, the little girl...how does she get those bubbles to suddenly be in the woods where NSYNC just happens to be singing? She has quite the set of lungs. It's it kind of ridiculous that I have WAY more observations about fashion on this particular video than the other ones. I think that in the ones before this there was the dancing to distract me, or the ridiculous crazy behaviors in a mental ward. But in this one, there is no dancing. The clothing choices just STICK OUT. But...I do love this song. I just sometimes try to forget about this particular video.

Ahhh yes. This album was the first NSYNC album I owned. You may be shocked by this since I clearly have had such love with this particular group since the 90's. Sadly, my dad did not approve of this particular group. In fact, this album was something I was not allowed to buy. I was quite sad to think that I would NEVER own any NSYNC album until once Christmas I received it as a gift from my sister. I guess it took some serious convincing on her part for her to buy it for me for Christmas, but eventually my dad gave in. I'm sure he later regret that since I played it NONSTOP. So even though I have had such a long run with this group so far, I knew this album by heart. The song Girlfriend made me SUPER nervous. They said "damn" and I knew my dad would not appreciate it, so I remember that whenever we would listen to the song we would scream "darn" so that we could cover it up. I'm sure he never caught on, right mom? Getting back the video I posted, I loved this song. I actually danced to it one year and SO wish I had video of it. At this point in my life it could embarrass me, but I was so excited that my dance teacher picked this song. This song had EVERYTHING. Dancing, beatboxing, a catching chorus. I loved it. And the video, how do you top that dance break? The clothing changes, ah! So wonderful. AND, Justin had a hair cut. MAJOR PLUS!

And then there's this emotional ballad. I loved this song, so much. I realize I have said this about nearly every song, but it's true. I was in love with all their songs. I have nothing to say to make fun of anything about this one, honestly. I really enjoy it. I guess they do look pretty ridiculous just sitting there singing back up to Justin, but we all knew what was happening at this point. We knew that Justin was gearing up to go solo. This song and video was definite proof. We should all probably get over it, but it's still a sore subject.

Now lets just say...it was SUPER hard to know what I should or should not post. So here's some I REALLY wanted to post and discuss my likes/dislikes/loves about but decided against that. Now I'll just post them:

and then there's this beauty: HERE WE GO

I could go on and on. But I should probably be done and move on with my life. But we all know, life has not been the same since this fabulous band... One day NSYNC.... One day...

It's Possible This is Word Vomit, But I'm OK With That.

I must say, I am tired of being unemployed. I do not understand how people just stop looking for jobs and bum around for a good portion of their lives. I mean there's not money, so how on earth do you do that? I just don't get it. How do those people who are just super unemployed (because there's obviously different levels of unemployment...there's just unemployed which is those that are constantly looking and just striking out, and then there's super unemployed which is those that have just stopped trying. I am just unemployed) just sit around all day? I guess if I actually had things to do it would be one thing, but with little money and it just being me and Jake in an apartment...what do I do? Seriously, if you have ideas let me know. Because I can only job search for so many hours of the day without going a little crazy.

I've got a lot of applications out, and some I'm really hopeful for. I mean it's not "the dream job" but I think that will come in time. My dream job really isn't much of a job as it is a lifestyle, and my life right now is not ready for that lifestyle just yet. I have things to pay off and money to save first. I am not at all secure enough for that yet. I could explain, but then people would get ideas and that could just go badly. Come buy me coffee and we'll talk. But for now I want to be useful, and helpful to people. I really want to be able to do something with my life, while making money. Unfortunately, right now it has to be a little bit about the money. There's some jobs that closed yesterday that I'm a little bit hopeful for, but we shall see. It's not in my hands, so I will see what's in the works for me I guess.

That has been such a concept for me lately, and obviously the lesson I'm supposed to really be learning. None of this is in my hands. This is all in God's plan for my life. I don't want to get preachy, because that's not what I'm about at all. Right now this is about reasoning my thoughts for myself and maybe for others. I've kind of been feeling like some people think I'm just giving up or not trying hard enough, and I want to defend myself a little. Because I've been working my butt off, making sure I apply for at least a couple of jobs each day. These jobs are anywhere from basic retail to office work. Stuff that I don't really do that often, but I think I could make work. I have prayed about it each day, prayed about going into each day of job searching with an open mind, which is a struggle. With recent rejections where I had come so close I have definitely had a bit of a self-esteem drop in the job hunt area. There's been tears...lots of tears. But I'm really trying to man up and keep going. I have to keep going. And obviously these jobs weren't meant to work out, which can be hard to see at first. God has His hand in all of this, I know it. It just stings a little bit at first, the rejection. But I'm moving forward because there's clearly more in the works for me.

I know a lot of people think that saying that it's all in God's plan and that He'll make it work is just an excuse for someone to sit back and let it just plop right into your lap. I'm not saying that anyone has actually said that to me, but I've had people say that to me about other situations, and sometimes I do see people use that as an excuse to just sit back and wait. This is not an excuse for me. To me this means that I keep applying, and that the right job will come about. It means that through searching and applying I trust that God will help me find the right one while applying for some that just don't quite work out. It means that He will do the work after I send in my application to whatever position I may be applying to. It means that I shouldn't stress about it, because it really is in His hands and that after the initial step of applying there's nothing more I can do before the rejection or invitation for the interview. This doesn't mean that the rejection doesn't hurt any less, because in some cases it still does. But it does mean that I need to step back and remember who is in control. And honestly, I'm so glad it's not me. Because if it were up to me, who knows what I would be doing right now.

Today I got a really random phone call. I realize now that in order to apply for one of the jobs that I applied for I had to sign up for a staffing agency, and they called me today. It was just so they could get more background on me and set up a time to meet with me to further discuss what I want so that they could help me find an employment solution. They mostly do temp and temp to hire work. And even though I agreed to meet (let's be honest, I wasn't given much of a choice in the matter) I am kind of upset about it. Is that weird? It probably is, but I am just really confused. Because I really know my strengths, and I know how much I would prefer to work with children and help them succeed, so why in the world am I getting set up with a staffing agency? Why in the world am I going to try to get into the temp stuff? I honestly don't get it. I have such a passion for working with kids and helping them grow, and this would not help at all. I'm just really confused as to why things that I apply for that I do qualify for fall through (though maybe the nanny gigs I was close to were just glorified babysitting...I have had that thought) while this is something that pops up. I have never been more confused. But I gotta keep trusting. Maybe this is my next step. I mean, this is temporary stuff. I just....I dunno. I mean it's not like I have to do it. I could go in and bomb all of this (though I promise I am going to give it my all). I could get called for an interview for a job I really want. I don't know what's going to happen. Sorry, this was just a little rant part I needed out of my system. I've been a bit emotional lately with the stresses and stuff I've been experiencing, and I sobbed after getting this phone call. I clearly need to sleep on it and see what I think with a fresh perspective. Maybe it would be ok. I think I just need to stop thinking about it tonight and deal with it tomorrow.

So yes...I realize this is all a bit of word vomit. I think it needs to get out there. I really do. I feel like in some instances I've been defending myself, and I know that I've been working my butt off. I just want to stop answering the question "Have you found a job?" sometime soon. Believe me, it gets old. And when you answer that question with a no, you typically will have more details to go through such as where you've been looking, etc. I appreciate everyone's concern, I do. I'm just exhausted by this all. Please keep me in your prayers. I'm ready for some employment, even if it's temporary part time. I need to bring some money in and do whatever it is God wants for me out here. Taking it one day at a time.

Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth

We all know how Darth Vader shared his big secret with Luke Skywalker, but what if he had delivered the news in a handwritten note instead? And what if someone found that letter, as well as all of the drafts that landed in the Dark Lord’s trash can? In the riotously funny collection Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth,John Moe finally reveals these lost notes alongside all the imagined letters, e-mails, text messages, and other correspondences your favorite pop culture icons never meant for you to see. 
From The Walking Dead to The Wizard of Oz, from Billy Joel to Breaking Bad, no reference escapes Moe’s imaginative wit and keen sense of nostalgia. Read Captain James T. Kirk’s lost log entries and Yelp reviews of The Bates Motel and Cheers. Peruse top secret British intelligence files revealing the fates of Agents 001–006, or Don Draper’s cocktail recipe cards. Learn all of Jay-Z’s 99 problems, as well as the complete rules of Fight Club, and then discover an all-points bulletin concerning Bon Jovi, wanted dead or alive—and much more.
Like a bonus track to a favorite CD or a deleted scene from a cult movie, Dear Luke, We Need to Talk Darth offer a fresh twist on the pop culture classics we thought we knew by heart. You already know part of their story. Now find out the rest.

I really enjoyed this book. It's not something that I typically read, which was refreshing. It was exactly as that last paragraph of the synopsis says: "Like a bonus track to a favorite CD or a deleted scene from a cult movie..."

This is a book that you do not need to read in any order. In fact, I highly suggest reading it in as random of an order as possible. I started off reading things that I knew and was excited to read about, and then the more randomly I paged through to read various "correspondence" the more I loved it. It ranges from Harry Potter to Walking Dead to Darth Vader, and all are quite hilarious. I also was pretty proud of the fact that I actually understood everything in it, which in some instances is a huge thing.

What are some that I really enjoyed, you may be asking? Well, as a rather big Harry Potter nerd I went straightaway to the "Diary of an Obscure and Unpopular Student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." A student we all should have assumed existed at Hogwarts, but a student we were pretty quick to dismiss because obviously Harry, Ron, and Hermione were doing awesome things. But let's admit it, a lot of use readers would be like this unpopular student and not running around with Harry and friends.

This is just one of the many entertaining things that you can find while reading this book. You can read the diary of Bruce, the shark from Finding Nemo, and find out about all his hopes and dreams. You can read all about those 99 problems that Jay-Z has, because we all know what particular things isn't one. You can find the history of all of the ghosts in Pac-Man. You can also read just how Elvis' hound dog feels about the way he's being treated.

This book was filled with comedy and very well written. It was one of those books to keep around and read when you need something to read that is fun. "Dear Luke, We Need to Talk, Darth" is one of those books that I will keep around, and one that I will recommend to my friends.


I received this book for free from Blogging for Books for this review.

Cringe-Worthy Job Interview

As I continue to apply for jobs and wait for any sort of response I find myself needing to try to take my mind off of things. I can honestly say I've never been so frustrated. I've applied at many places and definitely feel like I'm just getting looked over as nothing. I know that God is in control, but that doesn't always keep my head from stressing me out. I need distractions and hobbies. But I honestly can't think of any sort of hobby to take up, so I figured I would write a bit. And what better way to distract myself than to tell you about the craziest, and worst job interview I have ever experienced. Some of you know the exact details as far as place and such, but I am going to leave that out of this. I do love this particular place, and I think that not getting the job saved me from loathing it. That and it wasn't going to be guaranteed at a full time job, it was temporary, and I would be just barely making minimum wage (pretty big pay cut from basically anything I've done). So here it is...the worst job interview ever (this interview happened about 2-3 weeks ago):

I got to the job interview about 5 minutes early. Every place that I've interviewed at has appreciated me being early, but not too early. Apparently they were caught completely off guard. I was told to wander around the store (ok, that's my only hint....retail) until they were ready for me. So I tried to stay where they could easily see me and tried my hardest not to find anything that I wanted to buy (I failed...but I refused to let myself buy it. I was at a job interview. I needed money to buy this thing. Seemed a bit ridiculous). They finally came to find me, 15 minutes after the interview was supposed to start. I figured that since it was retail they had to deal with customers or whatever, and I didn't want to seem like I was making a stink about it so I just let it be and continued on.

I got into the cluttered office that I was to have my interview in with the manager and assistant manager. They both had the sheet they needed with the questions on it for me as well as a copy of my application, which is what you would expect. Unfortunately, they were dressed as your stereotypical hipster...like to the T. The glasses, the tight pants, the shoes, the plaid shirt...all screamed "I'M A HIPSTER BUT I WON'T ADMIT IT RIGHT NOW!" and it was pretty clear that I did not dress the part.

So the interview starts with the normal small talk. Introduction of names, how are you doing, what have you been up to today, etc. Just typical small talk. I told them my name, that I was doing pretty well, and I told them I just had a delicious Ihop breakfast that morning. Which lead to them asking about the restaurant. Apparently they had never been there. Fact: it is a half mile from the store. It is literally right next to the mall which is also next to the highway. How could you miss it, let alone never have gone there? I mean I'm not a regular, but since living here I've been there twice. They asked me what I ate, which after telling them I had to explain because they seemed to not understand how you could put cheesecake bites in a pancake. They asked me if I liked pancakes (yes...I think my having breakfast at the International House of Pancakes kind of shows that). Then they said "Ok...one more question about the pancake thing before we dive into the interview." I can't quite remember what that question was. Actually, I think it was how often I ate pancakes. Then we dove, headfirst, into the interview.

Question 1: "If you could open up a restaurant what would you name it? What would you serve?"

answer: ummmmmmmmm (this is something that I NEVER think about in my spare time, so the fact that I'm thrown on the spot to answer it was a bit too much for me). Well I really like restaurants that serve a lot of pasta, so I would definitely include that on the menu. I would also have a breakfast menu, because restaurants that serve breakfast are the best (is this seriously coming out of my mouth right now!?!?!? what is going on). As for the name...I'm not sure. That would be something I would put a lot of thought into.

Question 2: "What kind of boss would you be?"

answer: ummm (yes, a shorter um..but an um nonetheless. I was a little confused as to how this was related to the first question. Then I started wondering if this wasn't the job I thought it was... Was I interviewing to be in charge of people and boss people around? I wasn't prepared for that either. I don't think I need to share my answer, because it was a pretty solid answer in my book that involved open communication and such. No word vomit without thought here).

Question 3: "What do you like about people?"

answer: ummmmm (little bit longer of an um. Is this a serious question!?!? What do I like about people? I have no idea. I have had a strange read of the people of this cheese filled state, and though I try to be positive not all my thoughts were positive. I was also coming off of a terrible job with people I had a difficult time working with. I had no idea what to say. Again, no need to share my answer. I think I said something along the lines of I like people who are passionate about what they do, and at that store I would get the opportunity to work with a lot that were passionate about what they were doing and what they were shopping for. Not a terrible answer, but what a weird way to word the question).

Question 4: "What don't you like about people?"

answer: ummmm (again, serious question? At this point I could make a long list about what I don't like about people.What is acceptable to say and what isn't? Well, it's more like where do I draw the line? I honestly don't remember what I said to this question. I had some coherent answer about people who don't communicate maybe? I was in the middle of leaving a job that really sucked at communicating, so that was kind of on the brain).

Question 5: "If you could create a band what would the name be? Who would you have in your band, dead or alive?"

answer: KURT COBAIN!!! (yes...I may have shouted it a little excitedly. That was an answer I was only partially prepared for. I had always said that I would love to have more from Kurt Cobain, so clearly this was the best answer. But...it wouldn't be much of a band with just Kurt Cobain.) Ummmmmm (yes, I started to draw a MASSIVE blank. Like how in the world did I draw such a big blank. I have so many favorite bands and artists, I just would have to pick some that could go with Cobain. It shouldn't be this hard. But I started to like see faces, but no name would come to my mind...or I start a song in my head but have NO CLUE who the song belonged to. Suddenly...a name came to my head ) Elvis! I realize that sounds bizarre but I'd make it work. (What in the world Emily? Seriously. Cobain and Elvis? How in the world would that have ever worked? What are you thinking? Is this because you saw an Elvis record you wanted earlier, because this is unacceptable! There has to be a better answer. There as to be a way to save this...). And...oh the drummer from Blink-182. I can't for the life of me remember his name.....uhm....oh yes, Travis Barker. Again, bizarre combination but I would make it work. (SERIOUSLY EMILY!?!?! Get your head together. What in the world is with this combination. Like...how? I mean you could get the Barker/Cobain thing to work probably but Elvis!?!? I realize you love Elvis, but would you love him like this? As you can tell, I still dwell on the word vomit that came out of my mouth for this answer. If I had been prepared for this question I would have had a better answer. Like telling them that my dream band already exists...and the name is Led Zepplin. Seriously, worst answer ever. And it still haunts me.)

Question 6 (does it really matter? I am pretty sure I blew it with Question 5): "If you could be responsible for any book or book series what would it be and why?"

answer: (oh, I am prepared for this one. This one could SAVE the interview I got this guys! I got this) Harry Potter. I would love to be the one responsible with creating that world and all the characters within it. It's a series that has grown up with it's intended audience and is still doing well to this day. It has been turned into an incredibly movie franchise and I would love to have been the creator of all of that. (Manager: "And you'd be like a trillionaire). Yes...the money would be an added bonus for me. (Come on! How can you get a more sincere and thought out answer? You can't. I answered that question pretty darn well, and I think they were slightly impressed that my reasoning was not just because it was popular. Makes you wonder who they have been interviewing...)

Question 7: "This is going back to the pancake thing before...Have you ever tried Almond flour? You don't have an allergy do you?"

answer: I have not tried it. But I would be up for it if it makes good pancakes. I am not allergic. (SERIOUSLY? This is a question. Clearly these people would not like my baked goods full of butter, sugar, and regular flour.)

END INTERVIEW

If you didn't figure it out, I did not get the job (though I'm pretty sure I said that earlier). I am 100% ok with not getting it. I think that if they are just hiring based off of personality and not work ethic then I'm probably not going to enjoy my time there. I don't need yet another experience where I come home in tears each night. That and I do really like that store, and I think working at it would have destroyed it for me. Oh well. You can't win them all. It was, by far, the most ridiculous interview I have ever had. I was uncomfortable with it the entire time. And it makes me wonder what kind of workers they actually get for this place. I mean if they are hiring based off of personality and not on work ethic, how much actually get accomplished in a day? I mean yes, then you have good customer service (well...maybe) but that's about it. 

Oh well, it's not a big deal. There's obviously another job out there for me. Now if I could just find it that would be great.

And now, a song for your Tuesday morning!

Progress, I think

Hey all!

I suppose the title pretty much sums up what I am writing about today. I don't want you to get the wrong idea though...I do not yet have a job. Yes, a bit of a bummer, but I think there is still some progress happening. It's a bit of a story, but I definitely feel it needs to be shared. I know a lot of people have been thinking of me, praying for me, sending me leads (ok...that's just my mom), and sending me general well wishes. I think it's only fair to update you all on stuff (and if I see you back home at graduation business we can further discuss life and all its ups and downs in person).

So it's been a week since I quit my job. Only a week, but I feel like I have applied for everything under the sun, even though I probably haven't. I am sure there is more to apply for. I think eventually it all starts to sound the same but it is just in a different location, but what do I know? Anyway, I just think you all should know that I have not once regretted my decision. If there is any sort of regret happening it is just that I am not making any money. And if that is all that I was in for I should probably find something else, because daycare work is for the benefit of the kids (or it should be) and not for the money (which is pretty evident if you have ever worked at a daycare and looked at your paycheck). I feel it was the right decision, though that does not make the job hunt any less stressful.

So basically I've been applying for jobs that are office work mostly, with one library job in the Music Resource Center at UW Oshkosh (fingers crossed...I kinda liked that one but haven't heard anything yet. Though it only closed on Monday). I've been getting a lot of rejection emails. I was rejected, yet again, by the Appleton Public Library (yea...I cried a little. Clearly it worked way too well into my plan in my head but not the plan that is actually for me) as well as a few others (ohhh wait until I decide to write about the worst interview I've ever had in my life...no names of organizations will be given out due to the fact that I still love it, and am happy not to work there). So this week has been a bit of the same old same old. I have been applying and getting notice that they have it all and not hearing back or getting a rejection. It's been hard, and today has been a bit of a tipping point. I have never felt so frustrated or defeated. I have been in tears a good portion of the day today. It's been rough. Its been hard to calm myself and to focus on the things I should be doing today, even if its just that the laundry needs to be done. I have been struggling, and I've only been unemployed a week. Kind of ridiculous. Well, I have always been told there's only one thing that should be done at this point. I knew it was time to pray. Time to seriously just take myself away from it all and have some one-on-one time. It'd not that I don't do this ever, but sometimes I procrastinate doing it. Well as I'm sobbing and praying I get a phone call from a number I do not know. Hello impromptu phone interview! Did it go well? Ha ha....uhm not really. I mean I tried my hardest to sound confident, but in all honesty...I didn't really research the company (oops!) so I knew very little. She was very nice about it and told me what to research in case I get called in for an actual interview, but let's just say it was clear that my mother is really hoping that one of her children pursues a career in the financial business or something...it was a bit over my head. I appreciate you sending it to me though mom! It kind of came at an important time for me.

The way I see it...that phone call was not necessarily my future job calling me. If it is, I would be surprised because that is not a career path I completely understand. I think it was God's way of showing me that I am not forgotten and I am not being passed over. I have so many applications out there and so many resumes out there, and its kind of feeling like people are just not looking at mine at all and just sending rejections. But I have so many that have not been responded to yet, and I really feel like God was reminding me that he listens and that it's coming. Patience. I need patience. Trust. I need to trust. I am not forgotten, and I think that's what that phone call was. I am actually confident that is what it was. I will not be completely disappointed if that does not result in an interview in person, because I don't quite think that's what was being communicated (but BONUS if it does!). It's just crazy how He answers prayers, and how He shows you that He is there and has not forgotten about you and what you have going on in your life. It's a pretty amazing feeling.

So that's it. That's my update. I think it's progress in a way that I wasn't expecting. God has so much to teach me, and this was just one of those moments. I am so thankful and grateful for all of you! Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. This move has not been easy, and I think I can speak for both of us. But it means so much to know I have all your support back home. Please continue to pray for us. We're getting somewhere, I know it.

This song has become a fast favorite.

Wishes on a Sunny Day

As I sit here within miles of gorgeous Lake Winnebago I day dream of being on it. Yes, I would like to be on Lake Winnebago right now. Or on the beach basking in the sun. Or swimming in it. I really don't care at this point. We walked by it and it is gorgeous and I just want to be out and about on this lovely day.

See? Isn't that pretty? Don't you just want to lay out your towel and soak up the sun while reading a good book? I sure do. But present company doesn't want to, which is fine. I'm kind of surprised I got them out long enough to go to the lake, but that is an entirely different story. So with this lovely weather I have been making a wish list. Most of these things are pretty practical, but with financial situations and a not so fabulous start to a job hunt I can't really have all these things. But here it is, my sunny day wish list:

• A bike. I have never in my life been without a bike. Even when I was living at my mom's she would let me use her bike. Or when I lived 5 miles away from her I was told I could use her bike. It was a fantastic thing. I love biking. Sadly, I am now without a bike in a fairly bike friendly area. There are bike trails all over the place, and I just want to hop on a bike and go. It's really sad that I can't have one right now. Too spendy.

• Nice balcony furniture is on my list. Yea....I think this means I'm old. We have chairs for sitting around a bonfire or at a parade. We fold them up when we're done and just put them away by the door. It works fine, but I want like actual chairs and I want a table. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, but I want it. I have been spending a lot more time reading my books out there and I want to set a drink on something or bring a snack out with me. I also want to take full advantage of the balcony, which apparently is not something people around here do. I swear I have never seen anyone sitting on their balcony.

• I also want plants of some sort on my balcony. Nothing fancy, just some flowers or something. I think that pictures works for both of these old people wishes that I apparently have. If you wish to send me these things please refer to my Pinterest :)
• A kayak! Is this another old person thing? I don't think so. Anyway, this could easily be stored in my garage (the people across from us have some stashed in their garage). This would be an excellent way for me to get on the water and to get exercise and enjoy the great outdoors. I could get some sun (which seriously brightens my mood. I am not joking when I say I have seasonal depression as I have found out) and enjoy this gorgeous world God has created. That and I could kayak race Jake. So yea...we'd need two. But I suppose I could make friends and those friends could have a couple kayaks. I'd be ok with that.

• A BOAT! Ok, this may not be the most practical one. So I'll settle for friends with a boat. I literally only want it for boating. I don't care about fishing or tubing at all. I just want to drive around a lake, find different spots to get out and chill, and get back in to drive around again. I just love that part of boating sooo much. I would have LOVED to be on the lake today. 

• A non-lifeguard suit! You have no idea how badly I want this. I literally only have one-piece lifeguarding suits. I'm not saying I want the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini, but I want someone that doesn't give me the lifeguard tan (ohhh man, I'm gunna miss that tan). But since that's all I have that is what I will be laying out at the pool in this week. Oh well, I can't complain too much because I do have a suit, but it's just been so long since I've owned a non-guard suit. And I want to do that, so bad. One day...

Ok...so this list isn't as cool as it should be. I just want to enjoy the sunshine. Sadly, I am no longer doing that and only was out and about for maybe an hour or two. Maybe I should make friends... I have a feeling Jake won't be all for days at the beach. Oh well. 

Later Wisconsin!

yea...I'm obsessed with this song.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Hi there. Yes, I'm terrible at blogging but oh well. I've had a crazy couple of months that involved me doing the following things: quitting two jobs that I love, saying goodbye to all of my friends and family, moving to a new state, searching for a job, finding a job, hating my job and all that goes with it, feeling like I'm being treated poorly at my job, quitting my job, and finally the stage that I'm at now...looking for a new job. Yes, I should have found a new job before quitting my old one. It's a really long story that involves many different things. Quitting at a daycare is not something I take lightly. I mean there are kids involved and all of that. I felt it was necessary. I do, however, have a great list of things that kids have said or done while I was working there. Kids are crazy guys. Absolutely crazy. Some of the things they say are very sweet, some are a bit selfish and conceited (though that is not always the intention), and it's just fun. So here are a few things that the kiddos I worked with over the past month have said or done:

• I never really quite understood just how obsessed kids are with Frozen until I worked in a daycare with 3-4 year olds. I adore that movie, I really do. But I have to temporarily break up with it. Why, you may ask... I have heard "Let It Go" and "Do You Wanna Build A Snowman" belted out at the top of small lungs from the hours of 7:15-4:30 each and every day. There is always someone singing it, and it doesn't matter the current situation or place they are in. It can be at the table while we are eating. It can be while they are playing in different areas of the classroom or playground. ANNNND it's also in the bathroom. Like when they just go in quick. I have heard "Do You Wanna Build A Snowman" belted out while they use the bathroom. Yea...I need a break form that one for awhile.
• Kids are obsessed with the following names: Anna, Elsa, and Kristoff. They name all of their stuffed animals, barbies, and make believe names after them. They reenact the entire movie if they can get away with it. But I have started to believe that these are the only names that the kids know. They like Olaf...but it's apparently just not as good.
• They are all convinced that Sven is a moose. Yea...good luck trying to tell them that he is a reindeer and not a moose. I think these children really need to start identifying animals more often.
• They also confuse a lot of the plot up. Like who is actually who. They have had this argument going for the two weeks leading up to my last day about who actually sings "Let It Go." Really?? I thought it was pretty obvious that it was Elsa, the Ice Queen, that sang it. Well this turns into a full blown argument that apparently no one is winning.
• They don't actually know all the words to the songs that they sing. They typically are singing random words that pop into their head or just sounds that kind of sound like the word.
• They make up their own rules for EVERYTHING. There were some memory games that I have played many times with these kids, and each one had their own set of rules. I honestly don't even know all the rules and could not tell you how they tried to get me to play. All I know is that when I tried to lay them all out and take turns matching they yelled "Ms. Emily!!! That's not right!" One day a volunteer showed them the right way, so I thought maybe I was in the clear, but it was obvious that they were just pretending they thought she was right.  There is seriously no way to tell them that they are wrong.
• I had a kid walk up to me one day. I say walked, but really he creepily snuck up on me. He then used the creepiest voice possible (I have no idea if that was intentional or not) and said "I like to jump. Do you like to jump?" Yea...and then before I could answer he ran away. I hope you are reading that in a super creepy voice. And yes, he giggled as he ran away.
• This was one of my favorite moments. It's one of those moments that the kids has no clue what they are saying but they laugh it off like they knew all along and only the two teachers in the room are laughing. Yes, it was good. Background: the kids don't listen. Like at all. We were working on getting some things put into place, some behavior management, that really wasn't working TOO well but slowly improving things. Well, we were having a talk with them. We were telling them our plan for the day and we were asking them how to make good choices and all of that. It was part of the required group time. Well it was pretty quiet and all of the sudden one of the girls sneezes...like super loud. And before we can say anything she yells in a sassy voice "Bless me!" Yea....I was dying. She just basically thought she was saying what you were supposed to say after a sneeze but clearly did not realize that we do not say that about ourselves. Well she laughed it off because she knew we thought she was funny and the rest of the kids kind of giggled awkwardly because they were confused. Yes, it was pretty funny.
• One of the girls told me it takes her mom 7 minutes to do their laundry. I really want to know where her mom learned that impressive skill.

Yes, my experience at the daycare wasn't ALL bad. There were moments, glimmers of hope, that kind of had me hanging on as long as I did (which still wasn't as long as I had intended). In the end there were issues with myself not really clicking into a role that I feel needs someone to click in plus issues with how things were run etc. But...I do have a really cool moment (which was followed by horrible realizations and such).

The kids are allowed to bring in toys of their own. They really don't get to play with them for a good portion of the day, but before breakfast they get to. Kids typically brought in books, cars, stuffed animals, barbies...the usual (though one time a kid brought in user manuals for some of his games...yea, he was a hilarious child that I will miss). Well one day a girl brought in her picture bibles. It was honestly the cutest thing I have ever heard. I think her mom was a little unsure about her bringing those in since the center doesn't really allow for any sort of religious affiliation. She told me that she and her daughter had started going to church recently and she begged and begged to bring in these bibles. It was seriously one of the most adorable and heart-warming things I have ever seen. She was just in love with them and was so excited to show them off to her friends and to tell them the different things she's learned with them. Unfortunately, there is this no religious affiliation part of the center. I totally understand that. I mean I had assumed that we weren't supposed to teach that kind of stuff to the kids, and I was ok with that. But they were SO negative towards it. Like my first day we were just looking through stuff and each time a reference to God or anything like that was made in a book the assistant teacher in my room would make a big deal about it and essentially throw it in the garbage. First off, someone could have wanted that book. Secondly, I was a bit upset about that. I was a bit upset about how adamant they were about not showing any of these things to the kids. So...back to the girl with the bibles. The substitute teacher that was in the room with me went over to look at what she was showing her friends and gave a super dirty look and said "you need to put that away" in the most demeaning sort of way. Like that these books that this little girl loved so much and was showing to her friends was not important at all. She started to cry. Thankfully it was time to put things away and move on anyway, so that was the reasoning I gave her for needing to put them away, but it just kind of hurt me to see that. God is the one thing they cannot mention in the classroom and cannot believe in. But the Easter Bunny is cool I guess. The Tooth Fair is too (though the kids aren't really losing their teeth yet). Santa...he's a big one. And these are ridiculous things to let the kids believe in. The center can talk about those all they want but they totally dismiss God. This is one of those things that I didn't want to be a part of. I can't say this was my deciding moment. It definitely was not, there were so many other factors. But this was one of those moments where it was clear to me that I could not teach these kids in the way I had believed. I'm not saying I was going to preach to them, but I also would not deny them these things. This was hard for me. Very hard. And I pray for that little girl every day. I pray that she keeps reading and keeps going to church. 

So yea... that's a bit of my life the last couple of months. I have no regrets quitting my job. It was 100% the right thing to do (though getting a steady paycheck would have been nice). This job is not one that you stay at for the money. You have to love the kids. You have to love what you are doing. You have to know that you are going to teach them and make a difference in their lives. I did not feel like I could do that in this environment. It was a very negative environment that shot down beliefs. I did not love what I was doing, at all. I felt like I was constantly yelling at the kids and that killed me. I did like the kids, and I feel bad that I couldn't do more for them. But it was obvious that there is someone better out there for that job and I pray that they find that person.